


Friend in My Head

by RedLion003



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: "I love you", Abuse, Aromantic Keith, Aromantic Lance, Bad Poetry, Dream World, Gen, Handholding, Long Distance Friends, One-Shot, Sad Ending, Soulmate AU, Suicide, This is for Gentron, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 07:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLion003/pseuds/RedLion003
Summary: Its brilliant art,This was the very startIf he could find the person on the other side,Their fate would instantly be tied





	Friend in My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: There will be mentions of abuse, suicide, and death. Tread carefully or don't tread here at all.
> 
> This is a story for Gentron on Tumblr. A late entry for day 3: Soulmate AU/Handholding with hints of Day 7: Long-Distance Friendship/"I Love You". Please enjoy the story and I apologize for the bad poetry. I tried my best.

**Its brilliant art,**

**This was the very start**

**If he could find the person on the other side,**

**Their fate would instantly be tied**

* * *

When Lance was five years old, he was painting a picture with his sisters. He mixed the colors and laughed at Rachel's paint-splattered face.

"Don't tell mama," Veronica giggled as she painted a beautiful tree on the side of his face. It reached from his neck to his head, Veronica's tongue poking out in concentration. Lance snickered as the paintbrush bristles tickled his skin, but kept his eyes shut and let her paint his face.

Rachel bellowed in laughter at the final result. Lance screeched, "I love it!" and jumped into his sister's arms with a bright smile plastered on his face. But when the clock struck four twenty-five, the three of them started to clean up. Washing the tables, stacking away the paints and washing the paint from their skin.

"Veronica," Lance said in concern. He pointed to the faint blue tree on the side of his face. "It won't come off."

Veronica grinned, "Not too worry." She grabbed the cloth from Lance's hand and put him up on the counter. She ran the cloth under the hot water and washed at Lance's face. But the tree wouldn't fade. No matter how long she tried to wash it, the tree wouldn't fade.

By the sound of the front door closing, the three of them hurried to their mom. Lance cried as Veronica tried to explain. Rosa got a soft look on her face as she kneeled before him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft smile, "Not too worry, mi cariño. What you have there seems to be your soul mark."

"M-my soul mark?" Lance asked tearfully as he wiped at his eyes.

Rosa nodded kindly, "It's something me and your father share," she tapped the side of her neck where a smooth purple swirl was. "It means we are meant for each other. We are destined."

Lance cringed a bit at that, "But I don't want true love."

Rosa giggled, "Don't fret, mi niño." She ruffled his hair. "A soulmate doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. It could be an eternal friendship as well. A friendship that cannot break."

* * *

**People don't like me much,**

**They would always flinch far out of touch**

**Why do they look at me with such disgust?**

**Why do they have such a lack of trust?**

* * *

Lance was on a quest to find his best friend. At school the next day, he tried to talk to as many of the other kids as he could. After a while, they started to look uncomfortable with his presence. It always happened when he explained the mark on his face.

"Mama calls it a soul mark," Lance would grin in delight. "It means that I have a best friend out there that I am destined to be with. Pretty cool, huh?" He looked at the girl in curiosity. "Do _you _have a soul mark?"

The girl blinked at him in discomfort. "Er... no. I - I like to sit alone."

Lance's face fell, "Oh. That's okay. Enjoy your day!" He tried to observe the other's faces, seeing if any of them had the same mark as him. But none of them resembled his mark. Honestly? None of them even _had_ soul marks. And the ones that did, they had it far from their face and didn't want to brag about it.

Lance sat on the swings, far away from anyone. They seemed more content without him far away. He looked down at his hands, at the white and blue lily he kept in his palms. He wanted to give this to them as a token of their friendship. But he was afraid that the lily would rot long before he got to see them. A stray tear fell down his cheek.

No one seemed to notice.

* * *

**They wouldn't care for my existence**

**If I keep my distance**

**They wouldn't acknowledge me,**

**When I sit by the tall tree**

* * *

Lance was alone at the trunk of a tree. He watched kids run around with their friends. Everyone seemed to avoid him. They were stuck in their own world, fantasizing about their soulmates. It was all the kids seemed to care about. He stared down at his blue bind book, at the mirror engraved on the cover. A blue tree stretched from his neck to his head; faint but there.

His soul mark.

A tear cut past the blue marking on his face. He hastily wiped the tear from away and packed his books. _They wouldn't talk to me_ , he thought. _Not a chance_.

* * *

**The walk home is quiet,**

**The wind doesn't cause a riot**

**I'm like a ghost,**

**Floating aimlessly by the coast**

* * *

He walked past the tall trees on the sidewalks, watching the shadows stretch far over the road. There are a few people riding bikes or strolling alongside the sidewalks. Lance avoids eye contact. He ignores the distant music blasting from their phones or their ringing laughter at an inside joke.

Lance would never have something like this. Soulmates becoming forever lasting friends or lovers sticking by each other for eternity. He may have been blessed with a soul mark, but he wasn't blessed with its glow.

There was no one out there for him. And he was starting to believe there never will be.

* * *

**I have given up on waiting,**

**Patience is frustrating**

**Why does my mark keep hesitating?**

**It's becoming increasingly irritating!**

* * *

"Be patient," Leandro said, a hand on Lance's shoulder. "They will come to you. You will know when you meet them. You aren't alone."

Lance tried his best to believe his father. He _really _wanted to but watching all of his family get their soul mates, their utter joy when their mark starts to glow in acceptance...

Lance wanted that. He wanted that utter joy. The true feeling of being wanted. The center of attention. The one that achieved one of the greatest goals.

Jealousy. Envy gnawed on his mind. From what was a pat on the back and a hearty '_congratulations_ ' became dark and devious hate. He wanted that happiness. Why couldn't life grant him that? Why couldn't _he _have that!?

* * *

**There's a friend in my head,**

**He held a flower of red.**

**His smile so bright,**

**It made everything feel alright**

* * *

Lance became more distant. Rosa and Leandro started to worry about him. He got into fights in school and his grades were slipping. They tried to talk to him about it but he started to get angry. Veronica noticed Lance avoid the soul mark on his face. She knew it had something to do with that but she didn't speak up.

Lance went to bed early that night, staring at the glow stars on ceiling. After a few minutes of silence, he dozed off. He woke up in a dream of white. The bright light hurt his eyes a bit after the long dark. He blinked at his surroundings and noticed a figure somewhere in the distance.

He lowered his arm from the harsh light as his face started to heat up. He didn't quite understand why but he didn't question it. A soft hum bounced off the invisible walls of the white room. It seemed to be coming from the figure. He walked forward, he couldn't even hear his footsteps. The figure came closer and closer with every step.

Finally, his feet touched soft grass. He looked down and noticed a meadow around him. Beautiful green grass with white and blue lilies. Tall mountains that reached the blue sky. A lone tree shadowing a clear river. The soft humming didn't stop, echoing smoothly through his mind. It sounded like a song from the '80s. A Beatles song perhaps.

A boy sat not too far away from him. A red lily was tucked behind his ear while he was weaving a few purple blossoms into a crown. The boy had dark hair that reached his shoulders and pale skin. He wore a baggy, blue flannel shirt and a ripped MCR t-shirt. He had a delicate smile on his face as he focused on the tunes of his song. What truly stood out about the boy was the red tree that faintly glowed on the side of his face. The branches and leaves positioned the same as...

Lance kneeled in front of the boy, his face stuck in pure bewilderment. The boy looked up at him. His eyes resembled a dark nebula. Not quite purple but not quite blue. The boy didn't say anything, simply giggled and reached out for Lance's face.

His fingers brushed against Lance's soul mark and Lance reached up as well. His face still felt warm there. But it wasn't uncomfortable. He reached down into his lap and picked up the flower crown. He placed it atop Lance's head and laughed at his shocked expression.

"Wh-who are you?" Lance asked the laughing boy. The boy tilted his head, the fond look still painted on his face. He tapped his mark two times like it was obvious. "Y-yeah, I know but... What's your name?"

The boy looked off into the distance and gestured towards a far forest (that he was sure wasn't there before). He cocked an eyebrow at him. "Forest?" He asked. The boy laughed again, it echoed like a sweet melody. Not quite solid but not exactly ghostly either. He shook his head in amusement. Lance blinked at him in confusion, "Something that sounds like forest?"

The boy shook his head once more. "Can't you talk?" Lance asked him. The boy grew a sadder expression on his face. He looked down at the grass with melancholy, shaking his head. Lance changed the topic. "A-are you real?"

The boy gave him a sad smile and nodded. Lance smiled at the boy, "I'll call you Forest for now. Just until I find out your real name."

Forest laughed again. It was odd. He could laugh but he couldn't talk. Lance didn't ponder on it. Forest's smile made everything feel a little more brighter.

* * *

**He didn't have a voice,**

**But laughter was always his choice**

**His palm pressed into mine,**

**Made my whole universe seem to shine**

* * *

Lance slept a lot. Granted it was healthy and it was much better than the days he didn't sleep at all. His mood instantly brightened and he was starting to get better in school. The teacher told the McClains that Lance has been putting a good mood in the rooms he entered. He laughed more and talked more than he used to.

Leandro wondered if Lance was in love but Lance would wave that off. Rosa wondered if he met his soul mate but was sure he would've told them. Every night Lance returned to Forest with a new name on his mind but Forest would always chuckle and shake his head. After dozing off underneath an olive tree, he sat next to Forest with a kind smile. "Hey," Lance said as soon as he got Forest's attention. "What about Roscoe?"

Forest shook his head with a grin.

"Ummm..." Lance tapped his chin in thought. He's been looking up a lot of names that resembled forests but all of them didn't seem right. "Silvius...?"

Forest shook his head once more.

"Ugh!" Lance sighed in exhaustion (despite being asleep) and fell on the bed of grass. Lillies floated through the air, completely defying the laws of gravity. "Keith? What about that? That seems like an old-timey forest name?"

Forest giggled and nodded his head. Lance's eyes shot wide and he sat up straight. "Wait - Wha - seriously? Keith? Is that your name?"

Forest smiled brightly and nodded again. Lance pumped his fist into the air. "Yes! Finally!" He grinned at Keith. "Hey, Keith."

Keith rolled his eyes in amusement and waved at him. He picked a flower from the sky and tucked it behind Lance's ear. Keith's laughter echoed through their dream world, and everything felt better than before.

Keith and Lance decided to go for a walk through the forest that night. They weren't following a specific path. Just aimlessly wandering. The galaxy shone through the thick leaves of the trees. Meteors zooming through the stars. Scorpio and Leo were perfectly imprinted in the pool of the night. Lance slipped his hand into Keith's, his soothing presence making the night even calmer.

This must be how it feels.

To find your soul mate.

* * *

**He's always there,**

**Answering my flare**

**Through the sadness and grief,**

**He helps me find relief**

* * *

Lance was abruptly awoken from his dream world by his sister's pale face. "Lance. We have to go."

There was silent panic in the house. Everyone was pale and rushing through the house, looking for keys and suppressing tears. Lance looked up at Veronica. "Ronnie, what's going on?"

Veronica's eyes got watery, "It's... It's Abuela."

-

Everyone was pacing the waiting room of the hospital. "What if..." His mother tearfully cut herself off and sobbed into his father's chest. Veronica was comforting Rachel while Marco and Luis sat with bated breath.

_She'll be fine_ , Lance thought. _She's Abuela! She survived a bear attack. She _ has _to be fine..._

A doctor came in after a few more minutes of waiting. He walked over to his parents and exchanged a few soft words with them. Lance didn't need to hear it to understand. His mother's sobs were enough indication. She didn't...

-

It wasn't fine, but Lance pretended it was. Keith knew. Lance could see that much. He tried to hide it from him but it was impossible to keep from him. After a fight with his family out of grief, he locked his door and cried himself to sleep. When he arrived in the dream world, Keith wasn't there.

"Keith!" He tried calling, running through the meadow. "KEITH!" The forest appeared and he wove between the trees. He looked around the fields calling his name but he couldn't find him anywhere. He collapsed to his knees and cried. His perfect world felt tainted. The beautiful meadow didn't feel so pretty. The sun shining down on him felt like it was threatening to implode. The flowers around him were gonna die with his sadness.

A warm feeling touched his cheek and he looked up to see Keith's concerned eyes trained on him. "Keith!" Lance jumped into Keith's arms, holding him close. He cried into his shoulder, savoring his warmth. Keith hugged him back, running his hand down his back in soothing circles.

A soft breath fluttered in his ear, '_I'm here. I'm here._'

* * *

**His embrace is enough,**

**Life isn't as rough**

**But when my grip slips,**

**I'll be cursed with his missing script**

* * *

He's been getting headaches lately. The doctors say he's fine but he doesn't feel fine. Keith doesn't smile as often. His laughter cuts off and he leaves their dream world a lot more. It wasn't like Keith could tell him what was wrong. He couldn't speak. Lance thought he could after his Abuela died, but Keith kept quiet after that.

The grass started wilting and the skies turned grey. The tree was dying and the flowers flew away with the wind. "Keith, what's wrong?" Lance asked one day. "Please, try to say _something_. I'm right here."

Keith was ripped from their dream world immediately after that. He didn't stay long anymore. It felt lonely without his laughter. After a while, Keith's smile was gone too. The lily in his hair was wilting. His eyes became darker. The world around them was collapsing.

Next time he went to bed, it was to a destroyed world. The meadow was replaced by hard, cracked concrete. A polluted black sky. Dead Lillies floated through the air until their tore into ash. Crackling flames clung to the burned tree. The clear river was blackened and plastic floated among the dead fish. At the edge of the world, stood a figure. Hunched over and shaking.

"Keith..." Lance ran toward him. Each step felt like it was taking forever. He felt like he was drawing further and further away from Keith. "Keith!" Keith turned around. His smile was gone. It wasn't right. Bruises and cuts were all over his face. Tears glimmered in Keith's dark eyes. A cracked smile fell on Keith's face at the sight of him.

Keith stepped back and slipped off the edge of the world. Lance reached his hand in time, grabbing on and holding tight. He held himself on one of the cracks in the ground. The lily in Keith's hair was black. It wasn't the perfect red flower from before. It wasn't the perfect bright Keith from before. "H-hold on! I've got you!"

Keith's smile wasn't pretty. It was sad and broken. Tears dripped down his face but he didn't seem to mind them. His cracked voice echoed through the broken plain, "Let go, Lance."

"NO! No, please," Lance held tighter onto Keith's hand but he was slipping from his grasp. "Keith, I can't lose you! Please. Just hold on! I can get us out of this!"

Their hands were slipping. Keith reached up to the dead lily in his hair and reached up. He tucked it behind Lance's ear and gave a broken giggle. "I love you, Lance."

His grasp slipped and he watched Keith fall into the dark abyss bellow. "**NO! KEITH, PLEASE! NO!!** No... no...n-no...p-p-please...Keith...."

* * *

**There's a friend in my head,**

**I don't know if he's dead**

**I love you, he said**

**I love you too, I pledged**

**Author's Note:**

> Is Keith alive? Is it truly a happy ending?
> 
> I'm sorry for the abrupt ending and I know it's a little unfair, but I had a good plot in mind and this is it! Again, this is for Gentron. Day 3 with hints of Day 7. Thanks for reading, please leave a KUDOS or a comment - both are welcome. This fanfic was partially inspired by Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie


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